Eye gotta tell ya

My new neighbor Fred is always saying “What are you looking at??!!” I am always like oh good ol’ Fred I am looking at you. Fred is not really that old I am going to say probably in his mid 100’s or early 50’s hard to tell. Well if Fred wasn’t always looking at me I would not need to look at him so much. So I have been trying to come back with something that Fred would maybe find a little amusing. This isn’t easy because I have to get on his good side in order for him to laugh. I literally mean his good side he is blind in one eye. Well not exactly blind, we will go with he is missing a whole eye. The thing about that is that he does not even have a glass eye!! Hello I would almost volunteer to lose an eye just so I could pop my glass eye out all the time and show people. That sort of thing earns you a really good nick name like Uno, One Eyer, One Eyed Willy even if Willy is not your name. I think that I might forego the patch and just have the socket and then instead of guys always coming around saying “nice ass” or “nice hooters” they would be able to come up with something like “nice socket” then I can say “Hey stick something in it and watch it light up!” EWWWWWWWWW sick why would you want something so inappropriate in your eye. Well some people probably would or “wood” and I am sure there is some crazy name for that but this has gone down such the wrong path at this point I am not sure where I began. AHHH! Yes with my ol’ one eyed Fred (see I told you about the nickname thing). So I think that I have decided to tell Fred the next time he says “What are you looking at?!” I am just going to say “Duh, Fred I am looking at what everyone else is, your crusty eye socket.” The least he could do would be to draw a picture of a fake eye on it. I hope this cheers him up because I think it is funny. Well this one is for Fred and the crater in his face I mean the place where his eye once was or never was maybe he wasn’t born with an eye. Well God Bless all the ol’ one eyed Freds out there you have a special place in my heart.

Oh by the way that is an exact replica of Fred he wouldn't let me take a picture!